I am sharing...: Shared by Miss NC

This maybe one of the best stories that can be read by others. YES! (ang yabang ko lang) Why do I say so? Kasama lang naman sa kwento ng buhay ko ang organizer ng blog na ito. Kung hindi dahil sa kanya hindi ko makikilala ang love of my life ko ngayon. Kung hindi dahil sa kwento ng buhay nya, at kung hindi dahil sa facebook account nya na pinafollow ng marami.... siguro hindi ako ganito kasaya ngayon.....

I would like to share with everyone the emotions and revelations my heart has been through.

I'm 24, a proud mother of a 3 year old baby boy. I got married 4 years ago to the man I love the most. I gave him everything. I loved him dearly and we discussed our love as though it were unique, something everyone wants but not everyone receives.

My husband works in Dubai since 2010, 3 months palang ang baby namin nun nag-abroad sya. Gusto daw nya kaming mag-ina na mabigyan ng magandang buhay kaya pipiliin nya munang lumayo para sa amin. For the first 7 months na nasa Dubai sya, okay na okay pa kami. Walang problema, sweet pa rin kahit malayo sa isa't isa. May 2011, wala pa syang isang taon sa Dubai umuwi pa sya dito just for our son's first birthday. Unang uwi nya yun, nag-celebrate pa kami ng birthday ng anak namin. Walang kasing saya ang nararamdaman ko that time. Sobra ko sya namiss. Wala akong ibang inisip kundi ienjoy ang bakasyon nya na magkasama kami.

Bumalik ulit sya ng Dubai ng June 2011. Since then pagkabalik nya sa Dubai. Nagsimula nang magbago ang lahat. Nagsimula na akong magduda. From pictures that was posted and tagged on his fb account. Hindi na kami nagvivideo chat, though everyday sya tumatawag pero di na ganun kasweet na gaya ng dati. Parang may mali palagi. Simula pagkabalik ng Dubai di na kami nagsskype chat, bihira na niya sagutin ang emails ko, di na rin nagtetext... Sabi nya dun sa pic na nakita ko sa fb "hindi ko namang hahayaan may itag sa akin kung may tinatago ako sayo." Lahat ng paliwanag nya, lahat ng palusot tinanggap ko pinalipas ko.

From June 2011 until November puro pagdududa na ako. Pero dahil naniniwala akong di nya ako magagawang lokohin, pinanghawakan ko ang mga pangako nya. Sabi ko napaparanoid lang ako, nag-iimagine lang na may babae sya. Basta ang nasa isip ko mahal na mahal nya ako, mahal na mahal nya anak namin, at hinding hindi nya magagawang lokohin kami. Everyday sya tumatawag at nag- iiloveyou, so wala sa isip ko na magkakaroon pa ng ibang babae..

But I was wrong...

I discovered the truth on November 2011. I guess the truth had been haunting me despite a happy marriage...there was something wrong... Funny thing is, I thought I was unhappy with my job or something. No idea that the root of my unhappiness, discontentment and insecurities were stemming from my seemingly perfect marriage.

My husband has committed adultery.

I found out that he had an affair with his co-worker, pinoy din. They had relationship in Dubai, secretly they were living together without my knowledge. We separated because of this woman. The time na nalaman ko ang lahat, 6 months pregnant na yung kabit nya. Di ko halos akalain na nung unang uwi nya ng Pinas that was May 2011 habang nagsasaya kami sa bday ng anak ko, may relasyon na pala silang dalawa. Wala akong ka alam-alam dahil napakatanga ko siguro sa mga oras na yan.

You know what hurt me most was that this other woman/mistress knew me. Ninang sya ng anak namin. Mag-officemate na sila dati sa Makati, pero sa Dubai nagkadevelopan.

Kaya kakilala ko din sya. Nagpadala pa kuno ng birthday gift para sa anak ko yun pala sya na ang sumisira ng pamilya namin. Sobra akong nashock sa mga nangyari..

How did this begin without me noticing? Was I blind? Was I that far from my husband’s life?

I think the most difficult thing any woman can go through is an affair, I trusted my husband with everything I am. The pain of what he had done was overwhelming. How could a man that looked me in the eyes and say he would never risk losing me but he did. How could he crush his vows to me so easily?

Dec 2011, nagkaharap kami. Umuwi sya ng Pilipinas para iuwi na yung kabit nya kasi 6 months pregnant na. Inamin nya ang lahat. Humingi ng sorry. Nagkausap na parents namin. Ako firm na ako sa desisyon ko nun. Sabi ko papalipas muna ng panahon at galit. Hindi ganun kadaling tanggapin yung ginawa nya. After namin mag usap okay na sana pero pinakita sa akin harap harapan kung paano nya mas pinipili yung kabit kaysa sa akin.

After that nagkaron ako ng pagkakataon para maopen ung personal email sa office nila. Using ms outlook online sa mismong website ng company nila ako nag log in.

At duon ay nakita ko na lahat ng evidence na pwade kong makita. Ang dami nilang emails sa isat-isa sobra! Na lalo lang akong nasaktan..

I knew I shouldn’t torture myself with the emails kasi alam ko naman na lahat eh, but I began to read through them. Her messages to him were mostly sexual, describing their encounters detail by detail. Hindi ko kinaya yung iba...they love each other based on my observation sa mga emails,,

I struggle with how many details I want to know. Once you know something kasi, you can’t un-know it. It was so painful that I physically got sick. I couldn’t sleep. I kept going back to the emails.

Recovering and coping from this kind of situation is exhausting and tough. Isa lang ang gusto kong mangyari noon. Revenge. I secretly want payback at one point in my recovery journey. It's like I may feel justified in hurting him and getting him back for what he did. So I filed a case against him.. Agad agad ba. Galit ako eh.. Nangibabaw na yung anger sa puso ko. I know it's a human nature to have that little voice in every woman's ear urging them to make the man who cheated them pay. But I am here to tell you guys to quiet your voice. Revenge is not the way to handle an affair. It's just a temporary fix, it will not make you feel better or to get the root of the problem. Ganyan nangyari sa akin. Habang may kaso sya hndi pa din naman ako masaya eh.

So what I did, I opted to surrender everything to God. Sabi ko sya na bahala. Kailangan ko magmove on para samin ng anak ko.

Moving on is not that easy, it has taken a lot of self control, prayer and meditation to get to the point that it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Finding other ladies that have been through similar situations has given me great relief..

Masarap yung feeling na nakamove on na. Ngayon gusto ko naman ishare kung gaano ako kasaya.

May 2013, I saw someone's post on Facebook who captured my attention. The story shared by Miss Jane Lacson.

Her story sounds like a mirror of my life–my heart–my thoughts–my feelings. I have had what I thought was perfect marriage–one of a kind.

So then I started following her. I became one of her thousands followers. Hindi ko din inexpect na kahit isa lang ako sa mga followers niya ay nagagawa niya pa rin magreply sa mga messages ko. Reading all her daily posts, until the day she posted this status on her wall.

"Minsan parang gusto kong maging matchmaker. Magkano kaya service fee ko? Lol. I want my sad friends to be happy kasi."

It all started because of that post...... Imagine? Hindi naman ako sad, pero sabi ko why not if itry ko magcomment dito, so isa ako sa mga nagcomment dun. That day may nag add agad sa akin, mga tatlong guys pero I ignored lang, 2 days later saka ako may inaccept na isa.. sya si Mr R.. We don't have mutual friends, alam ko na followers din sya ni Jane pero tinanong ko pa rin sya, then he said yes, from that moment everyday na kami nag uusap. Chat.. text.. call..

Parang ang tagal tagal na naming magkakilala. I accepted his friend request pala May 29, I met him in person June 29, 2 months na kami magkakilala ngayon July 29. It feels great and amazing! After break up akala ko matatagalan na naman bago ako maiinlove ulit.

After separation namin ni ex. Hindi ako nagkaron ng bf, nawalan ako ng interest sa mga lalaki though may mga nakadate naman before..okay pala yun hindi ka naghahanap. Sa akin dumating lang sya.

Pareho din kami ng karanasan, separated din sa wife nya. Yung wife naman nya ang nagloko. Almost same experience. Yun nga lang lalake siya.

Nagkasama kami 3 weeks dirediretso. Pinakilala na nya ako sa family nya, pinakilala ko na din sya sa family ko. Tanggap at love na love nya ang anak ko. Okay na okay kami. Nasa ibang bansa na ulit sya ngayon, umalis two weeks ago na. Pero di ako nalulungkot kasi every 4 weeks contract lang sya. So next month kasama ko na ulit ^_^ masayang- masaya kami. Walang doubt sa pagmamahalan. Feeling ko parang mas matagal ko pa syang kakilala kesa kay ex ko.