Shared by Miss Janna

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When I was 19, I got pregnant out of wedlock. Ang tatay ng anak ko ayaw sa amin. Masakit man isipin but I need to face the responsibility alone. I was scared, embarrased at first. Hindi ko alam paano ko sasabihin sa pamilya ko about my pregnancy. And I was angry, with my child's father and myself. Yun yong naalala ko. I cannot blame everything sa kanya. Alam ko kung ano ang ginawa ko. Sa katagalan, nalaman din ng lahat ang pinagbubuntis ko. Merong mga tao na natanggap ang kalagayan ko, meron ding hindi. Yun feeling na tinititigan ka ng mga tao na parang nakapatay ako. I actually can laugh about everything now. We all learn from our mistakes. I accepted the fact na dapat kong alagaan ang batang nasa sinapupunan ko dahil walang ibang magmamahal sa kanya nang labis kung hindi ako. I tried my best to be strong not for myself but for my child. Naiiyak na naman ako dito. I moved on. Prayed everytime I had the chance.

Kahit naliligo, kinakausap ko si Papa Jesus. Though things where not that easy but I'm proud to say kinaya ko lahat dahil hindi ako pinabayaan ng mga taong mahal ako at ang anak ko. At nandun palagi si Papa Jesus para sa aming dalawa. Almost all of my prayers sinagot niya. But a few months after I gave birth to my child, nadiagnose mama ko na meron siyang tumor at kailangan ng major operation. Lahat halos ng family from both sides of our family lend out a helping hand. It was very rough time for my family. Para kaming nalumpo. But with God's miracle nasurpass namin ng family ko ang problema. My mom now is still strong ang healthy. My mom is my inspiration, my idol. Kahit madalas hindi kami magkasundo, nanay ko parin sya. At mahal ko ang nanay ko. Later on, me and my family tried to move on, take everything one step at a time. My mom was recovering very well and I found a job!

For at least 3 years everything was the same. My son was going to nursery school, I was working, meron kaming konting negosyo na si papa ang nagmamanage, nag-aaral mga kapatid ko. Hindi kami mayaman, pero tinutulungan kami ng mga kapatid ng tatay ko. Then one day, nabigyan ako ng chance to go and work abroad. I needed too. Gusto kong makatulong sa pamilya ko at mabigyan ng mabuting kinabukasan ang anak ko. My contract was good for 2 years. But for the past 5 years hindi ako nagkaroon man lang ng kahit fling. Naging matatag ako na kung magkakaroon man ako ng relasyon sa isang tao, dapat sya na talaga. I don't remember praying for it. Noong dumating ako dito, nahirapan akong mag-adjust. Masakit na naiiyak nalng ako. Yung hindi mo mapigilan ang mga luha mo kasi nangungulila ka sa pamilya mo at sa anak mo. Life here abroad is NEVER EASY.
Adjustment sa cultural differences, language barrier, pagkain at saka climate! -35 degree celsius yung pinakamalamig na natry ko. And until then my life was full of surprises!

Late 2011, a man sent me a message through online dating. And that man is the man I am happily married with now. It was not a love at first sight, but the second sight for me. hahaha. Right there and then I know I want to be with him. I knew that very moment that I love him. And I don't know why. I guess, sometimes love moves in mysterious ways. He knows everything about me and my family even before we met. Mahal at tanggap niya ako at ang pamilya ko. Nameet na din niya family at anak ko noong umuwi kami ng Pinas. Hopefully soon magiging isang pamilya na kami dito kasama anak namin (namin kasi anak na rin niya ang anak ko). Masaya na ako sa simpleng pamumuhay namin dito, meron ding panahon na hindi naging madali para sa akin pero alam ko na kakayanin ko. Natuto din akong magpatawad at napatawad ko na din ang sarili ko. Yung tipong hindi mo namalayan, nakamove on ka na pala. Tama sila, time heals all wounds.