Shared by Miss Hopyaa

I have lived for the past 4 months with a lot of question marks inside my head-blaming me, other people and even asking God why it happened. 4 months of waiting for that person to explain what's wrong, why he left me a day before Christmas, why he never really tried to work things with me for our family, why he never exert an effort to see his son, why it seem like his family that I thought when I married him was also my family, evaporated suddenly just as soon as he left us. Gone just like that. A few sterile calls and text messages that can only be counted by 1 hand. I was broken hearted, my soul was shattered, my peace of mind went off ticking like a time bomb.

My mind was blank and days could go on without me knowing how it ended. I tried to keep myself busy- work until 8pm despite my work should end at 5:30pm. I joined yoga, gym. I went overseas and travelled just to take my mind off my problems. Still when I go back to my apartment, I feel the same old hollow feeling of depression and anger- it was eating me.

The good thing is I was surrounded by angels. My family in the Philippines never left me. My son was taken good care by them and even though there came a point that I did blame them why this thing happened and I wanted to isolate myself from them, they never let me. They bugged me to the point that even if I was unresponsive in our video calls, they asked a common friend to check on me. I have 2 sisters who constantly call me despite their busy schedules and despite us living in 3 different continents. A brother who took over being a daddy to my only son. A community that prayed for my healing and my family's healing. Yes, I am surrounded by angels and I feel so blessed.

Photo courtesy: Idlehearts

I talked to God everyday telling Him my greatest desire. I told Him all my frustrations and anger, my hopes & my dreams, my disappointments & longings. I prayed for him every single night. I prayed for healing and acceptance. I went to a 7-day journey of letting go of pride and courted my husband. Just 1 text a day to remind not only him but myself of the happy memories of our love we used to share. No positive response and when I have resigned myself to accept that this is not the right time to heal, God answered my prayer.

On the 8th day of my so-called "soulful journey", I received a call that almost gave me a heart attack. I did hope & pray that it was just a prank call. Tried to call him but he was too occupied to pick up my call. I called his family who denied everything. I never thought he can do that. Stories get uglier and the picture of us having a happy family in the future becomes much more blurry. I went the next day to the Philippines to celebrate my son's birthday. He never called.

A month after I received the mysterious phone call, he finally got the courage to talk to me in person to tell me the whole story. It was an October "chat" affair. October when during those times, I thought we were a happy family. My son was here with us together with my parents-in-law & sister-in-law. We went to legoland together and I never had a clue except on one November night, I saw the 700 dollar bill which he denied. The other woman was an optometrist, married and with a 1 year & 3 months baby girl. Now she's 5 months pregnant with my husband. Her husband was the one who called me last month to tell me what happened. He was looking for his wife & child who ran off with my husband. I never really believed him at first when he told me that the other woman was with my husband during that time. But after what my husband confessed me the other day, all my doubts were erased.

The other woman who stole my husband and my son's father was with him during my son's birthday. That's the reason why he wasn't able to fly back to Philippines and attend our son's birthday but that doesn't explain why he wasn't able to call & greet him happy birthday. Ironically, he had more than 1 hour confession about his mistakes but it only took him less than a minute to say sorry. He wasn't really sorry. He was more interested with what the husband of his mistress told me and wanted to correct it. The funny thing is what he confessed is much worse than what I heard.

The woman had flew here for 3x already and her kid 2x already. They spent living like a real happy family somewhere in the northeast side while I am just living in our old place a few kilometers away from them and my son a thousand miles away from me. I have spent like 3-4 days with our son only twice for the past 5 months. He spent more than 3 months with his mistress and mistress' child. The worst part is to hear him say "alangang iiwanan ko pa siya eh buntis na nga at may maliit pa na bata". I told him "naisip mo yun pero di mo ako naisip na tunay na asawa mo at anak mo". And I got a reply from him "alangan magkaka-anak na rin naman ako sa kanya." I thank him for that reply. I woke up from that horrible fantasy- or should I say nightmare.

Why am I writing this? This is not me to shout out my problems to the whole world. This is me saying that temptation takes any forms. This is me saying we have to be watchful. Love your family truthfully and whole-heartedly. Do not be blinded by temporary excitement that the modern technologies offer. Yes it might be fun and thrilling to have another secret life- secret affair that the modern technologies offer. But if that secret life clashes with your real life- you will lose everything you have. Life here on earth is temporary. Love your loved-ones honestly and sincerely. I repeat don't be blinded. No to secret affair. It's like oil and water. They don't mix.