Shared by Joel

24 years old po ako, 23 naman po ang wife ko at may isang anak, kasal po kami, isa po akong ofw, mahal na mahal ko po ang asawa at anak ko, sila yung buhay ko, napakasaya namin nung hindi pa ako nakakaalis, hanggang sa nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makapag-apply sa company na pinagtatrabahuan ng biyenan kong lalaki. Mabait ang mga biyenan ko at ganun din ang mga magulang ko sa kanya. Natuloy yung alis ko papunta dito, akala ko hindi ko makakaya na malayo sa kanila, pero kapag pala nakikita mong masaya ang pamilya mo at naiibigay mo lahat ng pangangailangan nila, matitiis mo rin yung lahat ng pangungulila mo sa kanila basta para sa kanila.

Lagi kaming nag-uusap sa cellphone at laptop, meron ding time na kahit pagod kami pareho sa trabaho nakukuha pa rin naming mag-usap bago matulog. Hanggang sa dumating yung time na nararamdaman kong nanlalamig siya, sa tuwing tumatawag ako, nagmamadali syang kausapin ako at sasabihin niya na "o sige na sayang ang load mo, ingat ka dyan labyu". Dumaan yung mga araw na bihira na kaming magkausap, lumilipas yung isang linggo na hindi na siya nagmemessage sa akin, lagi akong nagmemessage sa kanya, lagi ko din siyang tinatawagan kung anong problema, lagi niya lang sinasabi na pagod siya sa trabaho niya, receptionist siya sa isang hotel sa amin hanggang sa hindi ko na matiis yung ginagawa niyang pangbabalewala sa akin, nakapagsalita ako sa kanya ng masasakit na salita, aminado ako doon, pero kaya ko lang naman nasabi yon dahil sobrang napakasakit po kasi talaga kapag nababalewala ako lalo na't nasa malayong lugar pa ako.

Palaging balisa yung pag-iisip ko nung mga pnahon na yon, hindi mawala sa isip ko na baka meron na syang iba kaya ganun siya sa akin. Alam kong mali yung nagawa ko sa kanya lalo na nung sabihin kong makikipaghiwalay na ako, dahil sa sobrang sakit talaga ng nararamdaman ko, gabi-gabi akong nagmemessage sa kanya, ni hindi niya sinasagot yung mga tawag ko, ni hindi ko na rin alam na natanggap niya na yung sahod namin, nababalitaan ko nalang na nakuha na nila dahil kasama ko sa company ang biyenan ko. Dumating yung araw ng paguwi ko, December last year, akala ko maaayos yung relasyon namin, pero lalong nasira, malaki yung ipinagbago niya, yung pakikitungo niya sa akin, sa tingin ko nagawa ko na din ang lahat para lang ipakita ko sa kanya na ayokong masira ang pamilya namin, lagi ko siyang iniiyakan, mas masakit pa nun, ni hawakan ko lang yung kamay niya, ayaw niya  ni hindi man lang siya nagleave sa work niya para sana magkaroon kami ng pagkakataong mapag-usapan yung problema namin.

Ipinaalam namin sa magulang namin ang problema, tinanong nila kung anong problema, napakasimple lang ng sagot ng asawa ko. "Hindi ko na po siya mahal." Alam kong kaya niya nasabi yon dahil na rin siguro sa mga nasabi ko nung panahong nasa abroad ako, pero para sa akin naman, hindi naman siguro yon basehan para maging ganito siya sa akin. Napakasakit para sa akin nung marinig ko yun mula sa kanya, siyempre pati sa magulang ko, pinili ko na rin na bumalik na lang ulit dito sa Saudi para na rin makapag move on, pero sa tuwing nakikita ko yung mga photos niya sa fb, nasasaktan ako (hindi po kami friend sa fb, madalas ko lang siyang tingnan dahil kahit galit ako sa kanya, nangingibabaw pa rin yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya) Mag 8 months na ulit ako dito pero yung sakit ganun pa rin.

Last month, nagmessage siya sakin, natuwa ako dahil nagmessage siya, akala ko simula na ng pag kakaayos namin, nagreply agad ako, napalitan ng pananabik at saya yung galit na nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, sinabi ko lahat ang mga plano ko para sa kanila, na muli sana kaming magkaayos kahit na nagkaroon kami ng problema, sana maayos pa rin namin pero mali pala yung ini-expect ko, magpapadagdag lang pala siya ng sustento sa anak ko lalo akong nagalit kasi lahat ng sinahod ko nung unang taon ko dito, lahat nasa kanya na, wala akong kinuha, inisip ko nalang na para sa anak ko yon, at madali lang naman kitain ulit yun. Hindi ko alam kung ano yung gagawin ko, mahal na mahal ko yung pamilya ko, hanggang ngayon umaasa pa rin ako na balang araw maayos ulit yung pamilya ko pero parang sa tingin ko masaya na siya ngayon. Salamat po dahil kahit papaano, nailabas ko yung sakit na nararamdaman ko sa pamamagitan nito.

Shared by Miss K

December 11, 2009

Isa sa mga araw na pinakamasaya sa akin. Naging kami na ng matagal ko ng crush. Walang ligawan na nangyari. Basta naging kami na lang. January 12, 2010 namatay ang ex nya at dahil doon naging mahirap ang first 5 months namin bilang mag boyfriend at girlfriend. Sobrang lungkot nya nung namatay ang ex nya. Umuuwi sya ng madaling araw lasing na lasing. Nung nakikita ko na ganon ang sitwasyon nya, sobra rin ako nasasaktan. Ginawa ko lahat para kahit papaano mabawasan ng konti yung sakit na nararamdaman nya. Pero wala lang yun sa kanya. Inintindi ko na lang sya.

July 2010

Sinubukan ng pagkakataon ang relasyon namin. Naghiwalay kami dahil sa isang bagay. Hindi ko daw maibigay yung gusto nya. Ang ginawa nya, doon sa mga ibang babae nya hinanap yung gusto nya. 3 beses sya gumamit ng ibang babae masatisfy lang sya. Nung nalaman ko yun, ang sakit. Sobra. Kaya nagdecide ako na hiwalayan sya. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, yun lang ba kailangan nya para magwork ang relasyon namin? So, I confronted him, sinampal at sinabi ko sa pagmumukha nya na HIWALAY NA TAYO! Siguro nga hindi pa namin kilala ang isa't-isa kaya madali akong bumitaw nung una.
Pero di rin nagtagal, nagkabalikan ulit kami. Sinuyo nya ako, nagpromise na hindi na nya ako sasaktan ulit. Sa madaling salita, naging masaya na naman ako. Kaya lang may nagbago na nung naging kami ulit. Nahirapan na ako pagkatiwalaan sya pero pinilit ko pa ring intindihin sya. Nung nagkaroon na sya ng work, nagkaroon sya ng mga bagong kaibigan. Meron syang isang kaibigan na girl, na lagi namin pinag-aawayan. Inamin nya sa akin na crush nya yung girl. Pero hindi naman daw masyado. Kaya lang sa tuwing magtatanong ako kung kamusta ang work nya, kung kashift nya ba yung crush nya, nagagalit sya. Bakit ko daw sya pinapakialaman. Pinagtaasan pa ako ng boses. Bakit daw ako nagtatanong pa tungkol sa mga ganon. Isang beses pa daw na maghinala ako, hihiwalayan nya ako.

Hindi na ako masyado nagtatanong sa kanya. Natakot na ako magbigay ng opinion. Natakot na ako na kapag may ginawa ako na kahit anong di nya magugustuhan, hihiwalayan na nya ako. Naging parang uto-uto ako sa relasyon namin. Na dapat kung ano lang gusto nya, yun ang gagawin ko para hindi nya ako iwan. Aminado ako sa relasyon namin, mahal na mahal na mahal ko sya. Pero sya, hindi ganon. Hindi nya magawa yung bagay na dapat sya ang gagawa tulad nung pag monthsary namin, ako ang nagsusurprise sa kanya, ako ang gumagawa ng effort para maging masaya ang monthsary namin. Sa relasyon namin, ako lang ang lumalaban kahit mga magulang ko tutol sa amin.

Inintindi ko sya, pinaglaban sa mga magulang at kapatid ko. Sinabi ko sa kanila na mahal ko yung tao. Pagpasok ng 2012, naramdaman kong tagilid na talaga ang relasyon namin. Pero hindi ko iniisip na maghihiwalay na kami.

May 18, 2012

Nakipaghiwalay sya. Ayoko ng ikwento pa ang detalye kung bakit. Pakiramdam ko pag kinukwento ko, parang kahapon lang nangyari. Ang alam ko lang, nagawa kong saktan ang sarili ko dahil ayoko syang mawala sa buhay ko. Pero wala lang sa kanya yun. Sa kabila ng pagmamakaawa na wag nya ako iwan, hindi nya ako inintindi. Hinayaan nya lang na dalhin ako sa hospital pero hindi sya sumama. And I don't know kung ano ang iniisip nya para hindi ako intindihin. Tapos na. Nangyari na yung bagay na yun. Handa na ulit ako bumangon para buo-in ang sarili ko. Matatag na ko ulit, pinatawad na ako ng family ko sa nagawa ko. Magsisimula na ulit ako lumaban sa buhay. Kaya lang may isang bagay akong napansin sa sarili ko. Hindi ko lang iniintindi kasi baka pagod lang ako. Napansin kong, 2 weeks na akong delayed. Hindi ako dinadatnan. Malakas ang kutob ko. Pero pinagsawalang bahala ko lang yun.

June 13, 2012

Lakas loob ako nag-Pregnancy Test. Nung araw lang na yun ako nakaramdam ng takot. Takot na hindi ko pa nararamdaman sa buhay ko. Naghintay ako ng result, pagtingin ko, dalawang linya. Isang malinaw, isang hindi gaano pero visible. Pero ramdam kong buntis nga ako nung araw na yun. Hindi ko pa pinaniwalaan, inulit ko the next day, at yun nga confirmed. I AM PREGNANT. Naguluhan ako. Hindi ko alam paano sasabihin sa parents ko lalo pa nasa ibang bansa sila. Pagkatapos ko makumpirma na buntis ako, sinabi ko agad sa ex ko. Sinabi kong dalawang beses ako nag PT and the result was the same and I immediately told him na magiging daddy na sya. Pero hindi sya naniwala. Hindi daw sa kanya yung baby. Nagulat ako, nagalit. Anong karapatan nya para sabihin na hindi sya ang ama? So after that, nag-makaawa na naman ako na bigyan nya ulit ng chance mabuo ang relasyon namin. Pero wala pa rin. Hinayaan nya lang ako.

January 30, 2013

Courtesy of Miss K

I gave birth a day after my daddy's birthday. The baby was healthy and very very pretty. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, kung ayaw sa atin ng daddy mo, wag na natin pilitin. Tama na yung pagmamakaawa ko. I've had enough. Oras na para yung anak ko at sarili ko naman ang isipin ko. Doon kami sa mga tao na tanggap kami like my parents and my closest friends. And now, my little princess is turning 6 months this July. I am very happy na sya ang naging anak ko. And I promised to her na kahit anong mangyari, I will be her mom and dad and I will give her everything na hindi ko naranasan nung bata pa ako. The father was claiming, na sya nga daw ang tatay, tanggap na nya at gusto na nya mabuo ang family namin.

Ngayon, masaya na ako sa sitwasyon ko. Kung bibigyan ulit ako ni Lord ng chance bigyan ng may magmamahal sa akin, gusto ko tanggap nya na may anak ako. Kung hindi, ibig sabihin hindi sya ang tamang guy para sa amin ng baby ko. I am not searching now, kung may darating, bakit hindi diba? Hindi naman porket Single Mom ka, hindi na pwedeng mahalin. We still do deserve to be loved. Super hero nga tayo diba and ganun din to all Single Dads out there. I'm a proud survivor of my past and a proud Single Mom.

Shared by Lady S

Courtesy of etsy.com

I had my first boyfriend after I graduated from college and I was 21 then. Young, innocent and carefree. I never thought that this bf I had was the kinda demanding, controlling and manipulative. The reason I stayed in the relationship was to make him a better person na dating walang direction ang buhay at dating addict. So I sacrificed my own whims and wishes for the sake of helping him become a better person. He was filled with dreams too and I have to keep the relationship strongly bounded with love, trust, understanding and well nourished with acceptance and all dahil nakita ko namang nag-eeffort syang magbago. I believed in his potentials. I was actually a tortured girlfriend dati dahil gusto nya akong mapasakamay nya. I can't run away and escape from him for he has that suicidal tendency personality.

There was a time I was dragged on the rough ground kasi nga ayoko mag give in sa gusto nyang mag-premarital sex kami para sa kanya na ako totally. Mistreated and physically abused. I explained to him that I cannot subject to that kind of unacceptable 
act before marriage kasi ayokong magloko at magsinungaling sa parents ko sa mga kahihiyan because I give importance to my traditional values.
Moreover, he'd drive the car so fast to threaten me. Sabi nya, "Ano? Anong gusto mo? Magbigay ka o hindi?" Inside the car, hindi ko sya kayang ma-tame kasi nga he's totally out of his mind and a freak. He'd gone mad dahil kasi ayokong bumigay. He'd twist and squeeze my arms kasi galit na galit sya. He'd even humiliate and embarrass me in public. Dahil sa takot ko di ko na alam ang gagawin. Confused, scared, helpless. I felt really dumb, weak at that time. Kasi I was torn out. Morally bruised, degraded.

I am the type of girl who doesn't give in easily dahil sa family values I was brought up to. But then, he broke the promise that he won't do it until we got married. As almost always, yun ang madalas namin pinagtatalunan kasi nga ayoko but then unfortunately napasakamay nya ako. Too bad, I was helpless to run away from their garden compound kasi ang dilim at ang taas ng pader, marami pang barking dogs sa garden nila that I had no choice to run away from the scenario. It was the time na gusto ko na syang hiwalayan dahil he never respected my decision. My conscience was mocking me every night dahil sa ginawa nya since I don't want to humiliate and cause public disgrace to my family's reputation and good standing in the society.

So I got married in 2005, as he promised na panagutan nya ako. And everything went smoothly until one day things have changed the way they were. Ini-encourage ko ang ang husband ko to start on our own but he insisted to stay with his parents for the meantime. So, okay inallow ko sya sa decision nyang ganun. I was working in Gensan then as a nurse. I was filled with elusive, impossible dreams for the love of starting a family on my own.
 Since I got a job from Gensan, my husband has to come to Gensan to see me or once a month ako naman ang umuuwi sa Cotabato.

Actually, naging matino ang usapan namin with that kind of arrangement hanggang sa ilang buwan, my husband was acting strange and indifferent towards me. Naging demanding, impatient at short tempered sya in dealing with me plus yung salitang binibitiwan nya sa akin ay may mga ultimatum that I have to make a choice. To me, I was surprised with the kind of statements na binibitiwan nya. May banta yung mga sinasabi nya. Kapag di ako umuwi maghiwalay na lang kami kung ganun man lang rin daw. I kept my cool as to how he dealt with me. I stayed patient and silent. I tried my best to keep the relationship.

Then I found out it was true na madalas pala syang pumunta ng Davao to see another girl. At first di ako naniwala. Until later, confirmed na meron nga. I kept asking bakit ganun? Ako sa Gensan na mas malapit di nya kayang puntahan? Hindi ako makapaniwala. Until later, inask nya ako na maghiwalay na lang kami. Over the phone lang ang usapan namin. Sabi nya gusto nyang maka-move on kasi he's trapped with the situation daw. And he assured me na walang problema sa processing ng documents dahil may kilala sya na mapadali yung petition for annulment. I was shaking at that time and I don't know what to do nasa duty pa naman ako. Nagtago na lang ako sa CR to shed out my tears. Ang sakit. I admit I have my inadequacies too because I worked far from our so called home. I was trying my best to help him build a family of our own. Pero minadali nya ako sa turn of events. I couldn't get a grip. I don't know where and how to start. I was torn between many things. I got numb and blank. Hindi makapag-isip ng mabuti. Nanghina ako pero I tried to remain calm and strong. Sabi ko na lang di pwede itong ganito.

One day, he phoned me asking "Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo? Kung ganyan ka lang at ayaw umuwi give me my freedom para maka-move on ako. Hindi yung ganito. Ano na lang ang sabihin ng tao sa akin. Ayoko ng ganitong situation. Hindi mo rin naman ginagawa ang role mo as a wife ah". Nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. Determined syang ipursue ang annulment dahil sa pagkukulang ko. Well, blame it all on me kung gustuhin nya at kung bakit ganun na lang din akong sumikap. There was this very deep reason behind why I was trying to convince him to live on our own as a couple na separate din sa parents nya. Before our marriage, he laid out his plans to me that we will live on our own as a couple pero promises were made to be broken. All that I was expecting in our new journey was a total failure.

I never had the chance to fix it because he doesn't want me too. No matter how I tried to ask him for another chance para makabawi man sa pagkukulang ko or para maayos man lang were all ignored. Buo na ang decision nya to pursue the annulment. But then, parang ako ay nablack mail sa gusto nya. So he asked me when ang uwi ko to sign the papers at para mapadali daw agad ang process. We met and he made me sign the papers at a local restaurant. Hindi ko na nakain yung inorder namin. Ang sakit! He never said anything while he handed me the documents. I held back my tears. Pinilit kong maging kalmado. Masakit pala sa lalamunan yung pigil na iyak. I was shaking and mute. Para akong naparalyze. I want to beg pero sabi nga nila pag ayaw na ng lalaki wag nang pilitin kasi magmumukha lang akong kawawa at tanga. To save my pride, pinigilan kong lumuha but I gone totally numb after that. After I signed the papers, I left. Di ko kaya. It made me totally speechless and blank as I went home.

I got back to work to keep myself sane, occupied, busy and I started on my own. Took the courage to see the brighter things in life. I never had anymore relationships at that time although may mga suitors naman ako. Few months later, my ex got married and heard the news that her wife gave birth. So while married pa kami nuon, may kapalit na pala ako agad. Ouch! ang sakit ha. Well, inisip ko na lang baka we're not really meant to be together for a long time. Better days are yet to come sabi ko na  lang. I was able to move on easily knowing na wala ng pag-asa magkabalikan dahil may anak at asawa na sya. Well, I never had regrets nor guilt feelings kasi matino naman ako even from the start bago pa nya ako nakilala. At least I took good care of my image and reputation na walang masabi sa akin.

Once in a while, nakikita ako ng common friends namin at sila na mismo nagbabalita ng: ay ano ba yung girl na napulot ng ex mo hindi man lang nakakalahati sayo. Haha! Natawa naman ako. I just tell them, let him be. Let them live their lives. I'm living my own as well. Yung peaceful at no stress. Yung isang friend nya sinabi pa sa akin na nadadawit pa raw ang name ko pag nag-aaway silang mag-asawa. Sabi ko out na ako sa problema nila. It's been a long time and yet he can't still get over me? Haha. Natawa na lang ako.

Sa facebook at friendster, he was stalking me and I block him everytime. He sent me messages. He greeted me on my birthday. He emailed me asking if I was mad at what he did. I said NO. It was your choice at wala na akong magagawa dun.. Tapos na ang lahat between us. Why bother asking me things like that? Inemphasize ko na walang space ang anger ko para sa kanya at para ano pa at magalit ako. I was busy bettering myself in preparation for my future. I made it clear to him na hindi ko lang magawang makipagkaibigan sa kanya dahil I'm just protecting myself and my image. Ayoko rin maging source ng away nilang mag-asawa na may connection pa kami. Iwas gulo na lang ako dahil di ko control ang isip ng mga tao sa amin at mga nakakakilala sa amin. Ayoko ng makipagreconnect sa kanya. What for di ba? I threatened him to stop bugging me or else I will tell my mother that he's trying to communicate pa rin with me or even would tell his wife that he's bugging around. Later, he stopped finally.

Only I realized it was never my loss and I hold that saying.. close to my heart I can be more. I used the past hurting as my drive to a better future, a better, wiser me.
Probably my mother had burned or kept or thrown away my wedding pictures and I couldn't find the wedding gown anymore. Not a single trace of memory from my past was kept in our house. It was easy for me to move right on at that moment.

I stuffed myself with my dreams and all. I'm enjoying the taste of my freedom and independence for eight years now. Kahit na 33 na ako, my age didn't matter to me anymore. So what if I get married late. Ayoko rin magmadali dahil lang sa age ko e kung wrong guy naman ulit ang mapupulot ko-nevermind. Now, my dreams come true. I am now here in abroad as a nurse.
Before I went abroad, nabalitaan ng ex ko na paalis na ako for good. Inask ng ex ko ang number ko from his bestfriend na maid of honor namin noong kasal namin. Then he texted me at kinumusta. I replied sa text nya: May I know who's this? pero ayaw magpakilala. Sabi ko sorry I don't entertain or waste my time to strangers ha. He texted back: paalis ka na pala. San punta mo? Then I ignored kasi di ko inientertain ang unknown texters.

Few days before my flight, his bestfriend told me na nagsisi daw yung ex ko na pinakawalan pa daw ako, natawa na lang ako. Sabi ko, "Wow! what a feeling! It's not my fault anymore I told my ex's bestfriend. I'm totally healed agad when I knew he got married and having a child after a few months of our annulment. Honestly, it was much easier for me to let go and move on knowing that I have better potentials pala. I trusted myself that I can make it through the rain and stormy seas. Now I'm chasing rainbows and spinning my dreams now. Mas magaan na ang loob ko, I got out of the rut of that failed marriage.

"Ang galing rin ng ginawang love story ni God for me. I never thought there was something more really beautiful with letting go if the person was never meant for you. The beauty, magic and mystery of letting go was a gift of self-discovery that you are capable of doing so much better than yesterday. I appreciate every morsel of what I went through because I was able to see that there's something more, far better and all that God reserved for me. It made who I am today actually. Of course, thankful that God is saving me for someone truly deserving and better. So is everyone of us."

Shared by Miss Belle

I’m in my early 20s, very young, independent, full of dreams and ambitions. I had a boyfriend before, same age and we really was getting serious since we lasted for almost 2 years. We only get to see each other pag weekends because he works in a different city. At first, okay lang pero nung tumagal, I doubted my feelings towards him. Siguro kasi hindi kami nagkikita lagi and when we talk, parang nauubusan na kami ng paguusapan. But I tried to work it out with him since mabait naman siya. My previous job needed me to work on weekends. Since weekends nga lang kami ni bf nagkakasama, I decided to look for another job. Fortunately, na-hire ako sa isang big time company and that’s where my real story began.


I was still new in my work when I met this man. Itago natin sya sa pangalan “Louie” gwapo, mabait, hardworking at maraming patay na patay sa kanya. When I first saw him, di ko naman siya napansin. But the second time we were introduced, I realized na I had a crush on him. Sa simula lokohan lang. Masayahin kasi akong tao kaya laging ako yung clown ng grupo namin. Ako yung tinutukso nila kay Louie. Natutuwa rin sila kasi sinasakyan niya lang din kami. For me naman, it didn’t mean anything kasi crush ng bayan siya sa office. And di ko rin sineryoso, plain fun lang and may boyfriend din ako that time.
 Months passed and I forgot about Louie. And then last year, nagkita ulit kami.

That day really changed my life.
 Nagulat ako kasi the next time we saw each other, nag-iba na ang treatment niya sa akin. He was being extra nice. I didn’t want to put malice but when we went out along with our officemates, nag-confess na siya sa akin na he had feelings for me. I was really speechless kasi siyempre inaadmire ko siya tapos biglang mag coconfess out of the blue na gusto nya rin ako. He even told me na at first hesitant siyang pumunta kasi alam niya na may mangyayaring ganito. He felt something towards me na raw the last time we saw each other. Sobrang naguluhan ako nun kasi nga na overwhelmed ako at the same time, may boyfriend ako. Literally that night feeling ko masisiraan ako ng bait kasi I was deeply attracted to him. Sobrang intense ng naramdaman namin for each other na when I recall it now, damang-dama ko pa rin.
 We talked for hours and ang lagi naming tinatanong “bakit. Papaano nangyari na nagkaroon kami ng ganoon ka intense na feelings sa isa't isa in just one night. He was aking the same question and di rin niya masagot. He would tell me na mali raw yung nangyayari kasi may boyfriend ako and he wouldn’t want to ruin my relationship with him. But he would tell me again that he loves me and wanted to try.

Louie was older than me. Nobody knows if he was married or with a girlfriend so I asked him. He didn’t want to tell me at first pero sa kakapilit ko, he confessed that he was married. Dun na ako sobrang naguluhan kasi I was having feelings for a married man while I was in a relationship. 
But I want to make it clear na before he came into the scene, talagang may doubt na ako sa bf ko. I remembered I prayed to God saying na if hindi kami, paghiwalayin na lang kami. Since di ko kaya na ako ang mag initiate na magbreak kami, let something happen that would really break us apart. And then Louie happened. I took it as a sign. 
I told Louie about it and I asked for his status. Sabi niya he is no longer in good terms with his wife. And he wouldn’t be entertaining anyone else kung okay naman sila. As for me, I believed him then kasi ganoon din yung situation ko. 
We decided to try it out and see where we would head.

Alam ko sobrang katangahan pero I was inlove with him. Para bang yung mga hinahanap ko sa bf ko na traits, na kay Louie lahat. Constant yung communication and he made me feel special kahit na malayo kami. He explained to me the situation and promised me na we will see each other soon. He even told me na I’d choose the date and he would fly back. Ako naman, sobrang gullible, naniwala. 
I knew how wrong it was pero di ko talaga mapigilan makipag communicate kay Louie. I was still with my then bf and napapansin na niya na things were different. He even surprised me to keep me from being cold pero I wasn’t able to conceal my true feelings. Naaawa ako sa kanya kasi napapansin niya na iba na ang treatment ko sa kanya. But still I wasn’t courageous enough to break it off. Natakot ako nun kasi ayoko mag-isa. Even though I really love Louie, alam ko he wouldn’t be there for me unlike my then bf. That time, sobrang naging selfish ako. I cheated on my bf, while I was a mistress. 


Slowly nagsink in na sa akin ang reality na I was indeed Louie’s mistress. I couldn’t talk to him when I want to, ni text di niya ako nirereplyan. We would talk once a day lang. I found myself crying all the time, feeling hurt. Lage ako umiiyak sa kanya saying na ayoko na because it was difficult for me. Then babawi siya by saying sweet words, kukumustahin or tatawagan ako unexpectedly. Every time he does that, na-wiwin back niya ako. Since I was still with my then bf, Louie begged me to choose him. Because he promised he would take care of me. I knew it was wrong pero since my feelings for my bf were no longer there, I decided to choose Louie. But it took me three months bago ko nagawa yun. I finally broke up with my bf and he soon found out. Sobrang nagalit siya sa akin but I was madly inlove with Louie and nothing else mattered. 
Louie and I saw each other once a month. And every time we meet, sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. I really really loved him. I’ve had past relationships pero kay Louie ko lang naramdaman yung ganun. And pakiramdam ko rin ganoon din siya. Coz we would always have heart to heart talks and I presumed he was all out honest to me.

Louie talks about his family, his kids, and his dreams in life. He even showed me his new bought house and told me it was a secret from his family. He bought it for himself because as he would say “lalaya rin ako”. He would talk about his plans of leaving his family kasi di na daw talaga siya masaya. Sobrang comfortable kami sa isa't isa and we would always laugh kasi ganun pala ang feeling ng inlove where we can just talk about anything. Ang dami-dami kong magagandang memories with him. And even though it was morally wrong, I never felt it kasi sobrang saya ko na kasama siya. We made plans about the future. I tell him my plans and honestly speaking, he was part of it. That time pakiramdam ko na talagang siya na eventhough I know he’s married. I was so blinded with love na talagang umasa ako. 
Not until time came na gumuho ang mundo ko.

 I found out na meron pala siyang ibang kinakasama. He was having another extra marital relationship aside from me! Sobrang sakit when I found that out. Since malayo kami, sa phone ko lang na confront si Louie. He denied it at first pero sa sobrang furious ko, umamin din siya. I also found out na matagal na pala sila nung kinakasama niya.
 I was deeply hurt, sobrang sakit na hanggang ngayon naiiyak ako everytime kinukwento ko. Kahit masakit, I was smart enough to shut him off my life. I told him to just get out of my life dahil sobrang sakit ng nangyari. Kahit mahal na mahal ko siya, I let go. 
The most hurting part for me was hindi man lang ako pinaglaban ni Louie. Sa katangahan ko, umasa ako na hahabulin niya ako. But I was wrong.

He chose her at yun ang pinakamasakit because I chose him over my bf of 2 years tapos ganito lang ang gagawin niya sa akin. Nasaktan lang ako ng sobra kasi wala siyang ginawa to console the pain he caused me. At dahil nga malayo kami, we never saw each other again. That was the last time I talked to him.
 But God was still so good. Despite everything that happened, yung ex bf ko biglang nagparamdam. Siya ang naging shoulder to cry on ko. Inamin ko sa kanya lahat and he was crying with me, bakit daw nangyari sa akin to. Sobrang natouch ako sa kanya kasi tinatawagan ko siya pag ka di ko na kaya and he would just listen. Kahit alam ko na nasasaktan ko siya, he listens. But because I cheated on him, di ko na kayang makipag balikan sa kanya, and ganun din siya. Alam kasi naming kung gaano kahirap so we decided to be friends na lang. 
I know it was my fault kasi pumatol ako sa may asawa. Karma nga daw sa akin to. And I admit my mistake.

Humingi ako ng tawad kay God, and I even prayed na sana patawarin ako ng asawa at mga anak niya for what I did. At kahit na ang sakit sakit ng ginawa niya sa akin, pinatawad ko si Louie. I learned to let go of my hatred kasi it was my choice in the first place. I dug my own grave kaya nangyari to sa akin. I also prayed na sana patawarin din ako ng exbf ko kasi alam ko nasaktan ko siya ng sobra. But I certainly learned my lesson. Dati hate na hate ko ang mga kabit and it turns out magiging ganun din pala ako. But I decided that it wasn’t for me. 


Now, I am single. Wala na akong balita sa exboyfriend ko and kay Louie. Ngayon natatawanan ko na lang ang mga nangyari kasi kung dati dalawa sila sa puso ko, ngayon wala ng natira but I never regret anything that happened. Oo masakit, sobra, pero I learned a lot. Sa age kong to, sobrang bigat ng pinagdaanan ko and I surpassed it. And I became strong. Really strong. And I learned to be happy on my own now, without the help of any man. And of course, I would never give up on true love. I know someday, in God’s time, a man will show me that all the pain that I’ve been thru will be all worth it.

Shared by Miss Hopyaa

I have lived for the past 4 months with a lot of question marks inside my head-blaming me, other people and even asking God why it happened. 4 months of waiting for that person to explain what's wrong, why he left me a day before Christmas, why he never really tried to work things with me for our family, why he never exert an effort to see his son, why it seem like his family that I thought when I married him was also my family, evaporated suddenly just as soon as he left us. Gone just like that. A few sterile calls and text messages that can only be counted by 1 hand. I was broken hearted, my soul was shattered, my peace of mind went off ticking like a time bomb.

My mind was blank and days could go on without me knowing how it ended. I tried to keep myself busy- work until 8pm despite my work should end at 5:30pm. I joined yoga, gym. I went overseas and travelled just to take my mind off my problems. Still when I go back to my apartment, I feel the same old hollow feeling of depression and anger- it was eating me.

The good thing is I was surrounded by angels. My family in the Philippines never left me. My son was taken good care by them and even though there came a point that I did blame them why this thing happened and I wanted to isolate myself from them, they never let me. They bugged me to the point that even if I was unresponsive in our video calls, they asked a common friend to check on me. I have 2 sisters who constantly call me despite their busy schedules and despite us living in 3 different continents. A brother who took over being a daddy to my only son. A community that prayed for my healing and my family's healing. Yes, I am surrounded by angels and I feel so blessed.

Photo courtesy: Idlehearts

I talked to God everyday telling Him my greatest desire. I told Him all my frustrations and anger, my hopes & my dreams, my disappointments & longings. I prayed for him every single night. I prayed for healing and acceptance. I went to a 7-day journey of letting go of pride and courted my husband. Just 1 text a day to remind not only him but myself of the happy memories of our love we used to share. No positive response and when I have resigned myself to accept that this is not the right time to heal, God answered my prayer.

On the 8th day of my so-called "soulful journey", I received a call that almost gave me a heart attack. I did hope & pray that it was just a prank call. Tried to call him but he was too occupied to pick up my call. I called his family who denied everything. I never thought he can do that. Stories get uglier and the picture of us having a happy family in the future becomes much more blurry. I went the next day to the Philippines to celebrate my son's birthday. He never called.

A month after I received the mysterious phone call, he finally got the courage to talk to me in person to tell me the whole story. It was an October "chat" affair. October when during those times, I thought we were a happy family. My son was here with us together with my parents-in-law & sister-in-law. We went to legoland together and I never had a clue except on one November night, I saw the 700 dollar bill which he denied. The other woman was an optometrist, married and with a 1 year & 3 months baby girl. Now she's 5 months pregnant with my husband. Her husband was the one who called me last month to tell me what happened. He was looking for his wife & child who ran off with my husband. I never really believed him at first when he told me that the other woman was with my husband during that time. But after what my husband confessed me the other day, all my doubts were erased.

The other woman who stole my husband and my son's father was with him during my son's birthday. That's the reason why he wasn't able to fly back to Philippines and attend our son's birthday but that doesn't explain why he wasn't able to call & greet him happy birthday. Ironically, he had more than 1 hour confession about his mistakes but it only took him less than a minute to say sorry. He wasn't really sorry. He was more interested with what the husband of his mistress told me and wanted to correct it. The funny thing is what he confessed is much worse than what I heard.

The woman had flew here for 3x already and her kid 2x already. They spent living like a real happy family somewhere in the northeast side while I am just living in our old place a few kilometers away from them and my son a thousand miles away from me. I have spent like 3-4 days with our son only twice for the past 5 months. He spent more than 3 months with his mistress and mistress' child. The worst part is to hear him say "alangang iiwanan ko pa siya eh buntis na nga at may maliit pa na bata". I told him "naisip mo yun pero di mo ako naisip na tunay na asawa mo at anak mo". And I got a reply from him "alangan magkaka-anak na rin naman ako sa kanya." I thank him for that reply. I woke up from that horrible fantasy- or should I say nightmare.

Why am I writing this? This is not me to shout out my problems to the whole world. This is me saying that temptation takes any forms. This is me saying we have to be watchful. Love your family truthfully and whole-heartedly. Do not be blinded by temporary excitement that the modern technologies offer. Yes it might be fun and thrilling to have another secret life- secret affair that the modern technologies offer. But if that secret life clashes with your real life- you will lose everything you have. Life here on earth is temporary. Love your loved-ones honestly and sincerely. I repeat don't be blinded. No to secret affair. It's like oil and water. They don't mix.

Shared by Miss RN

I also want to share my story. I'm also a single parent. I just delivered my son last May 28. Maybe some can't relate, some will be amaze, some will get irritated.

May 28
4:30pm
Naramdaman kong parang may biglang pumutok, when I look down may tubig na sa floor. Hindi ako nagpanic, I immediately message my friend (one of the few who knew I am pregnant) and told her what is happening. She told me to go to the nearest maternity clinic kasi daw pumutok na ung patubigan ko. Still hindi muna ako nagreact. Pabalik-balik ako sa comfort room. I texted one of my closest friend to visit me at house asap (my purpose is para sya makasama kong pumunta sa clinic na malapit sa kanila).

6:10pm
Dumating yung bestfriend ko, dali-dali kaming umalis ng bahay (dahil ayokong mahalata sa bahay kung anong nangyayari sa akin dahil hindi nila alam na buntis ako ). Yun nga, when we're on our way I told my closest friend about my situation (hindi din nya alam) and she panicked. Ako, kalma lang dahil iniisip ko yung baby sa sinapupunan ko dahil 31 weeks (7 months and 2 weeks) sya. Dali-dali nya akong dinala sa pinakamalapit na maternity clinic. Pagdating don dali-dali akong ni ultrasound at don ko din nalaman na baby boy anak ko.

8:15pm
7cm na akong naka open. Hindi ako tinanggap sa maternity clinic na yun dahil daw wala akong relative o pamilya na kasama, just my two friends. And, baka daw ma incubate ang bata at wala daw silang incubator don. Pinapatransfer kami sa isang ospital. Dali-dali din kaming umalis don.

9:30pm
Dumating kami sa ospital, after a few minutes na nakaupo tumayo ako dahil titimbangin daw ako at don bigla kong naramdaman nag-open na ako, masakit.. ang sakit sa balakang. Pinahiga ako ng doktor at ni-examine ako, sinabing naka-open na ako at ready for delivery. Dali-dali akong pinasok sa delivery room. I received a text from my mom, pinapauwi ako, sabi ko bukas na dahil marami pa kaming gagawin ng friend ko. And ni-off ko na cp ko. Katext ko din at that time ang tatay ng baby ko.

10:35pm
I normally delivered my baby boy- a less than 6 pounds, so cute, so tiny, ang sarap sa pakiramdam makita mo ang baby mo. I received a text from my mom (that message is for my friend) sabi ipa-on ko daw phone ko dahil aatakehin daw sya sa nalaman nya. Yun pala pinuntahan sya ng isa kong friend at sinabing manganganak na ako at nasa ospital. Yun ung time na nalaman ng mom ko about my situation. I worried so much, takot na takot sa gagawin sa akin ng mom ko, ng dad ko, ng 6 brothers ko. Pinasok na ako sa room ko at doon iyak ako ng iyak. Saan ka ba nakakita ng bagong panganak na problemado masyado?

Past 11pm
Dumating mom ko, hindi siya umakyat sa room ko. Sa baba lang siya at kinausap isang friend ko. Hindi nya matanggap yung nangyari sa akin, bakit hindi ko daw sinabing nasa ganong sitwasyon ako. Umuwi na lang siyang hindi ako nakikita at ang baby ko.

May 29
Lunch time dumating ang tatay ng baby ko, he paid for the hospital bills at hindi din nagtagal umalis din. Bandang hapon nang dumating uli mom ko, takot na takot pa rin ako baka kung anong gawin sa akin. I beg one of my friend not to leave me alone with my mom. Pagpasok pa lang ng mom ko sa room, umiyak na ako, di ko siya kayang titigan, di ko kayang makita ang ekspresyon sa mukha nya. After an hour, umuwi friend ko at naiwan mom ko. We talked, she's crying and I too also. Hindi pa din nya tinitingnan baby ko. Umuwi sa bahay mom ko na walang imik. At that time, karamay ko lang eh ang baby ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko nakaya kong dalhin sya ng more than 7 months, makakaya ko din lahat para sa kanya.

May 30
10AM
My mom arrived, dala ang damit na pamalit ko. Sinabing alam na daw ng dad ko ang nangyari. Again, umiyak na naman ako. Pinauwi ako ng mom ko ng bandang ala una, maiiwan baby ko sa ospital kasama mom ko. Pagbaba ko naghihintay dad ko, hindi ako makasakay sa takot, kung hindi pa ako tinawag ng dad ko, hindi ako makakasakay. Kinausap ako ng dad ko, ramdan na ramdam ko yung sakit, disappointment sa boses niya. Wala akong magawa kundi umiyak ng umiyak. Dumating ako ng bahay na hindi pinapahalata kung anong nangyari at nangyayari sa akin. Naiwan ang bata sa ospital dahil hindi pa sya pwedeng iuwi sa bahay dahil magtatanong ang mga kapatid ko.

Pinaalagaan muna ng parents ko sa family friend namin ang baby ko ng 1 week. Sa loob ng mga araw na yun wala akong ginawa kundi umiyak at mangulila sa anak ko. After a week inuwi sa bahay ng parents ko ang baby ko, ang sinabi anak sya ng pinsan namin (ang sakit na sabihin sa mga kapatid mo na anak ng iba ang sarili mong anak). Tinitiis ko para lang makasama ko baby ko. Ngayon, mag 1 month na sya and I am happy being with him. He is such a blessing.

Yung tatay pala nya walang kwenta dahil hindi na nagpaparamdam. Ang I found out hindi pala sila hiwalay ng asawa nya. Si God na bahala sa kanya.

Shared by Carla

Call me Carla. I’m 23 when I met this man, bata pa ko kung tutuusin. Dahil sa gusto kong mag-explore napunta ako sa isang trabahong malayo sa kurso ko. At first, nabibigla ako sa mga attitudes and personalities ng mga katrabaho ko. Nahirapan ako makipagsabayan sa kanila. That time he was there, he never left me. Siya ang naging mentor ko, adviser and naging tagapagligtas ko na rin sa tuwing nagkakamali/nagkakaproblema ako. I fell in love with him immediately. Hindi naman talaga sya mahirap magustuhan dahil halos lahat ng gusto ng babae ay nasa kanya. Pwera sa isang bagay.. He’s married.

After six months, nakuha ko yung posisyon na gusto ko. I have proved na kaya kong makipagsabayan sa kanila. And that time din, mas lalong lumalim yung feelings na meron ako. At dahil na rin sa everyday magka-text kami mas lumalim pa. Hanggang sa umabot kami sa punto na naisuko ko ang lahat. Sya ang una. Nung panahon na yun hindi ko maramdamang mali, pakiramdam ko tama dahil sa pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko. At kahit na hindi kami official na kami, ginagawa naming yung mga bagay na meron ang isang normal na relasyon. Hanggang dumating ako sa pagkakataon na pakiramdam ko dapat maging maliwanag ang lahat, inamin nyang mahal nya ako. At mula nun, tinanggap ko lahat-lahat. Kasama na ang ideyang, opisyal na kabit na ako. Homewrecker ika nga.

Araw-araw pinipilit naming maging masaya. Kinakalimutan ang katotohanan na mali ang lahat. Hindi ko rin maitatanggi na mula nang naging opisyal kami, naging madalas ang pagtatalo namin. Pero nagkakabati rin. Hanggang dumating sa puntong bigla syang nagbago. Lahat ng sweetness naglaho. Pakiramdam ko hindi na sya masaya pag magkasama kami. I confronted him, nauwi lang sa pagtatalo. Hinayaan ko sya sa pag-aakalang kelangan nya lang ng space. Wala ng sweet texts, madalas pag magkasama kami nagte-text sya, sa trabaho mas madalas may ka-ym sya. Hinayaan ko lang sa pag-aakalang way nya yun para maging ok sya. Hanggang isang araw, na-wrong sent sya. Saying I love you. Alam kong hindi para sa akin yun, dahil trabaho ang pinag-uusapan namin. Sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, nakagawa ako ng mga bagay na ikinagalit nya. Pumunta ako sa lugar na madalas naming puntahan. Hinintay para sa mga paliwanag nya. Pero di sya dumating. I waited 9 hrs. Awang-awa ako sa sarili ko nun.

Pero hindi pa rin natapos yung relasyon na meron kami. Ganun ko sya kamahal. Pinatawad at tinanggap ko pa rin sya. Pero alam ko sa sarili kong malapit na kaming matapos. Dumating sa puntong namatay ang tatay nya. Hindi ko sya iniwan. Hindi man nya ako kasama, pinaramdam kong nasa tabi lang nya ako. Tinulungan makabangon, maging masaya sa darkest days nya.
Then it came to a point na nagpasa na ako ng resignation ko, pinigilan nya ako. Kasabay ng pagpigil ng management. Tinanggap ko yung offer kahit na may malaking pag-aalangan ako. Hindi ako nagkamali.

Isang araw, binuksan ko yung ym nya. Nabasa ko lahat. Conversation nya at ng mas batang ka-officemate ko. Babaeng alam ang lahat tungkol sa amin. Pakiramdam ko nagunaw yung mundo ko. Kinompronta ko sya. Hanggang pag-uwi. Ngunit imbes na awayin sya, nagmakaawa akong tigilan na nya. Na ako na lang, at dahil mas kaya ko syang mahalin higit sa pagmamahal na kayang ibigay nung babae. Nung gabi na yun, napatunayan ko na di lang ako bobo, ang tanga ko pa! haha.. Sinumbat nya sa akin na kahit kelan hindi nya ako minahal. Na nag-iilusyon lang ako. Sobrang sakit. Nung gabi na yun, gusto ko ng mawala sa sobrang sakit. Pero hindi ako iniwan ng mga taong nagmamahal sa akin. Nung gabi ding iyun, nagdesisyon akong tigilan na. Gumawa ako ng paraan na maka-move on kahit na alam kong mahirap dahil kasama ko sya sa trabaho. Nagpaalam ako ng ilang araw na pagkawala sa trabaho, nagpunta sa mga lugar na mahahanap ko ulit ang sarili ko. Nagtagumpay ako. Pagbalik ko, I’m feeling better. Hindi ko na rin sya ginawang pansinin para hindi na rin mas maging mahirap sa akin.

Pero bumalik sya sa dati. He tried to pursue me again. Pero nagpakatatag ako. Sinimulan ko na rin sya kausapin dahil na rin sa hindi maiiwasan dahil sa trabaho namin. Hanggang isang araw, napaka-unusual lang lahat. Lumabas ako para mananghalian na hindi ko ginagawa. Pagpasok ko palang sa fastfood nakita ko na sila. Pagpasok pa lang lahat ng sakit bumalik. Para akong binuhusan ng napakalamig na tubig. Nilapitan ko sila, nagpaka-sarcastic, kinuhanan ng picture. Then, I went to the girl and slapped her face then walked out. Hindi ko alam kung pano ko nakabalik sa opisina nun. Ang alam ko lang sobrang sakit. Yung babae, alam nya lahat. She even told me na wala raw yun. Na hindi sya nagrereply, hindi nya sinasagot yung mga tawag at mas lalong hindi sila lumalabas. Pero napatunayan ko… na sinungaling sya.

Lahat ng sakit bumalik. Sakit na di ko inakalang mararamdaman at mararanasan ko. Pagbalik nila ng office sinubukan nya akong kausapin. He grabbed and pushed me. Hilam na ako sa luha. Pagod na rin ako kaya di ko na magawang kausapin pa sya ng matino. I blamed him, sinumbat ko lahat. Pero hindi pa rin maiaalis nun yung katotohanang wala na.

After that day, sa sobrang sakit ng pinagdadaanan ko I even talked to a psychologist. Tinulungan nya akong tumayo ulit. Naging malaking tulong. Sinubukan ko na rin na sabihin sa iba. Yung mga takot na they will judge me, nawala. Dahil mas naintindihan at minahal pa nila ako. Ngayon, kasama ko pa rin sila sa trabaho. Madalas ko rin nakikita, kahit iniiwasan ko na, yung mga bagay na ginagawa naming dati. Pero hindi na sa akin kundi sa bago na. Pero hindi ko na hinahayaang masaktan pa ako. Tinanggap ko na nagkamali ako! Pinatawad ko na rin ang sarili ko.

Ngayon, araw-araw pinapatunayan ko sa sarili kong I don’t deserve him. That I don’t deserve that kind of love story. Masaya na rin ako. Dahil mas nakita ko how blessed I am sa ibang bagay. Mas gumaganda ang career ko. Nagagawa ko na yung mga bagay na di ko nagagawa dahil sya ang focus ko. Yes, aaminin ko kelangan kong lumayo para totally maka-move on. Don’t worry nakaplano na ang lahat.  Hindi na rin ako naghihintay na may dumating. I know he’ll surely come at the right place and at the right time. Malaking tulong ang pagdadasal, pagkapit sa Kanya. Kasi sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasasaktan ako nandun sya. Late ko na narealize na kaya pala ako nasasaktan dahil gusto na nya akong bumitaw. Na kaya marami akong nakikita at nalalaman dahil gusto nyang makitang mali ang taong minahal ko.

****
I know wala na akong pakialam tungkol dito, pero natatawa na lang din ako dahil nakikita ko ngayon na yung babae naman ang nagiging praning. Nag-aaway sila dahil sa akin. Although wala naman akong ginagawa kundi ipakitang ok na ko. Nami-misinterpret nya yung actions ko. Akala nya dahil nagagawa ko ng makipag-usap, dahil magkasama kami nung lalake sa opisina, akala nya tuloy pa rin yung relasyon namin. Nakakatawa na lang.. hahahaha.. Ang sarap sabihin na kahit kelan hindi magiging masaya ang relasyong nabuo sa panloloko.

Photo courtesy: Google

Shared by Justine

Since it's my Birthday I do have all the rights to make some kind of drama for the whole day. So please bear with me if this is kinda' annoying for some.
I am Justine, I just turned 21 today. I've been literally single for almost 4 years now but I've done dating, flings and all that. The last time that I've been in a happy relationship was 2009. It lasted for 8 months, because the person whom I loved that much left me for another girl which is his ex girlfriend. I was totally broken that time, lahat ng oras umiiyak ako. That's the last time that I cried myself to sleep. Umaga, tanghali, habang naliligo, bago matulog, hindi ako nagsasawa umiyak kasi yun lang yung nakakapagpagaan ng loob ko.

Awang-awa ako sa sarili ko nun kasi I felt like I am dumped by that someone who I gave my trust whole heartedly. Masakit kasi wala akong narinig na kahit ano galing sa kanya, sobrang masakit kasi naghintay ako kasi akala ko he just need some space baka masyado ko na siyang mahal at nasasakal ko na siya. Isang taon akong nagmomove on kasi sobrang minahal ko siya, as in walang kahit ano. Isang taon kong iniiyakan yung mga memories na binigay niya sa akin, sobrang sakit tuwing maalala ko na masaya ako noon yung sobrang kaya kong gawin lahat para sa kanya.

It's really true that there would be that someone who'll walk into your life to make you, to change you, to break you. Pero at the end of the day, this will make you even stronger than before.
As year goes by, I've been stronger kasi yun na lang yung option ko for me and for those people who count on me. Nagkakaroon ako ng mga date and flings but none of them last long. The day that my last boyfriend walked away from me feeling ko I was cursed not to have a serious relationship again.
I always wonder, bakit lagi ako iniiwan ng mga taong ito, ano bang mali sa akin? Kulang pa ba yung pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko? Should I love myself even more so I can be worth it for someone? I can't help but cry every time na maiisip kong lagi nila akong iniiwan. Buti nalang I have good friends and family to keep me companied.

The last time someone broke my heart was last month. This guy made me feel that it's about time to trust someone again. To believe that you deserve someone who will love you beyond boundaries, unconditionally ika nga nila. I've been cheated, fooled and left with my heart shattered into pieces. But nobody knows because I'm a good actress, I can fake a smile.
This guy made me feel very comfortable, I can be myself pag kasama ko siya, pero wala siyang pinagkaiba sa last bf ko. Bigla lang siyang nawala, nalaman ko na lang na he's dating another girl. I keep my distance from him, kasi alam ko wala na ako magagawa. I've been holding back these tears because I don't wanna be a loser anymore.

Sobrang sakit.. Wala akong magawa kundi iiyak lahat motivating myself that everything will be okay, but the truth is I'm not okay. I will never be okay.
Everytime I tried to fix myself someone will walk into my life tapos sisirain na naman yung momentum ko. I've changed, di na ako yung dating understanding, patient, and mapagmahal na gf. Di ko alam pano ko ba ibabalik yun, I miss that part of me kasi kahit na tanga ako noon, masaya ako. Pero feeling ko I've been so numb sa sobrang dami ng heartaches na naranasan ko.

Gusto ko lang ngayon birthday ko yung maiyak ko lahat ng sama ng loob ko, para bukas iba na ulit ako magaan na ulit yung loob ko. Sobrang hirap, kase hindi ako sanay manood ng sine mag-isa, kumain mag-isa. I feel so hopeless, feeling ko this is the test of time na hindi ko mapasa-pasa. Hindi ako maka let go sa past relationships ko na puro failure lang.

Photo courtesy: Daughterbydesign

I've decided to quit dating, siguro pag ginawa ko yun I'll free myself from everything, I'll free myself from all the stress of the world. For a better me, sana kayanin ko. Sana hindi ako iwan ng mga taong mahal ko like my family and friends. Kasi sila na lang yung meron ako, at alam ko kakayanin ko ito.
After nito promise di na ako iiyak, basta don't provoke me further! Hahahaha :))
Happy Birthday Jaja, you're the strongest and bravest soul that I've met. Enjoy your day!

Shared by Ate D

Photo courtesy: Christianity201

I am a single mom for 18 long years bago ko nakilala ang aking husband ngayon. I had two daughters from two different fathers. Oh di ba ang ganda? My kids are both my precious gems (yan ang tawag ko sa kanila). The situation of being a single mom, acting as a dad and a mom at the same was not an easy job. Double time palagi. I had boyfriends in between pero hindi nagwowork kasi dahil na rin sa hindi rin naman ako pinaglalaban ng guy. Sa simpleng dahilan na di ako maganda at iisang bagay lang ang gusto sa akin ng guy. 

Napagod ako nun, kasi search ako ng search ng "right guy" eh di naman talaga existing yun sabi ng mga friends ko kasi iba ang sitwasyon talaga kapag single mom at magka-iba pa ang mga ama ng mga bata. Naiisip ko na din "oo nga wala na sigurong seseryoso sa akin kasi di naman ako kagandahan at tingin ko wala ring magugustuhan sa akin ang lalaki dahil alam naman nating lahat na ang gusto ng lalaki ay magaganda, sexy, at yung may maipagmamalaki na magandang carreer. Nagkataon na nagtatrabaho ako bilang family caregiver na stay in at halos nakalimutan ko na talaga ang lumabas o magkaroon man lang ng rest day. Iniisip ko kasi nuon abala lang ang mga guy sa buhay ko, might as well ayusin ko ang trabaho at magpatuloy na lamang na maging isang single mom.

Pero mas madalas pala na ang mga plano natin kapag hindi natupad inaakala natin madalas na tapos na tayo sa planning na un. But God has His plan for all of us.......It was the end of 2011, kumbaga December 31 at mag new year na. I suddenly looked up to the sky. Syempre madilim nun at nagpuputukan...I talked to God and I said "Bakit minsan madamot ka sa akin? Mabait naman ako di ba? Bakit di mo ako binibigyan ng makakasama sa buhay. Yun lang naman ang hangad ko sa iyo kasi longing ako sa makakasama sa buhay" I cried and then I stopped crying...Sabi ko kay God "Sorry ha, di naman ako nagrereklamo, sige kung nakatadhana na akong mag-isa habang buhay okay lang basta wag mo ako pababayaan ha?" I feel the presence of God at that moment. Malamig na hangin at ramdam ko na niyakap ako ni God. Iisa lang palagi ko dasal nun bukod sa makatapos ng pag-aaral ang mga anak ko ay ang makahanap ng makakasama sa buhay na totoong mamahalin ako kahit na sino pa ako.

Nakilala ko yung tamang lalaki sa panahon na hindi ko na inasahan, sa panahon na inakala ko wala na akong makakasama sa buhay. Ipinakilala siya ng friend ko na galing ng Dubai. Nagkataon na annuled siya sa first marriage niya for 8 years eh knowing ang mga sundalo strikes anywhere yan at walang seryosong babae kasi nga di ba palipat-lipat sila ng lugar. Nang nakilala niya ako at first hindi nya kinuha number ko, kumbaga nagpakipot muna siya at after 1 week saka palang niya hiningi ang number ko. We exchanged numbers at araw-araw kami nag-uusap at kuwentuhan. 

Umalis sya ulit nun kasi nakadestino siya ng Bikol. Nagkita siguro kami after a month na. Then our next meeting was he gave me a ring. Nagulat ako at sobrang bilis. Sabi nya, matatanda na daw kami para sa mahabang ligawan. Madali ko syang nakagaanan ng loob kasi napakabait nyang tao at yung pagmamahal niya is nararamdaman ko talaga bilang babae. Actually nung nag-usap kami about our situation, sinabi niya agad na ayaw niya ng lokohan at mauuna ang sex sa aming dalawa dahil talo ang babae. Malaki daw respeto niya sa akin. Hindi ko yan inasahan kasi lalaki yan eh at sundalo. Knowing their nature, naku alam mo na di ba? Babaero sila at di dapat magtiwala. And so,he offered his name agad agad.Sbi nya pagbalik niya pakakasal kami. Alam mo ung feeling na di ka makahindi kasi nakita ko sa mga mata nya na seryoso siya at ramdam ko na mahal nya ako talaga? Ganun ang effect sa akin ng husband ko. 

After 3 weeks bumalik siya from Bikol, sabi nya nakabakasyon sya ng 1 month at papakasal daw kmi at siya na mismo mag aasikaso para mabilis ang lahat. Wala akong ginawa basta sya na lahat nag asikaso.Until one day he told me, get ready on December 08, nagpakasal kami sa fort bonifacio. Simpleng kasal lang at mga close na kaibigan lang ang naging bisita namin that day. 

Would you believe na ang isang gaya ko na 39 yrs old at may dalawa nang anak sa magkakaibang ama ay nakakita pa ng Mr. Right at ito ang goodnews---no premarital sex habang di pa kami kasal. Ganun nya ako nirespeto at pinahalagahan bilang babae. At yun ay sapat na maging dahilan para pasalamatan ko si God na binigay nya sa akin ang lalaking alam ko na minahal ako ng todo.

He was a good man, responsible man na naging ama ng mga anak ko. Actually ang hiningi ko nun makakasama lang eh pero extra bonus ang lahat kasi that man offered me his name. Hindi ko na yan inasahan, hopeless na ako nun. Pero kapag si God pala ang gumawa ng plans sa buhay natin swak na swak pala sya, at perfect ang timing Niya talaga. Right now, I am happily married to the man na eksaktong hiniling ko sa Diyos. And now I can say, I am the luckiest wife dahil kahit 2 ang naging anak ko sa magkakaibang tatay, binigyan naman nya ako ng asawang napakabait, responsable at mapagmahal na asawa.

Sa lahat ng mga single mom na makakabasa nito, wag kayo mawalan ng pag-asa. Madalas kasi na dumadating ang saktong lalaki sa buhay natin sa mga panahon na hindi na natin inaasahan na may dadating pa. Atsaka nakakapagod naman talaga ang maghintay na di mo alam kung kailan dadating si Mr.Right para syo. Kaya sige lang girls, continue on dreaming and praying to God na may dadating din sa tamang panahon.

Shared by Miss MG

On the night of August 17, 2008, around 9 pm, I was about to say my night prayers, when I suddenly felt uneasy. I was anxious about something I cannot explain. While praying I began to instantly utter something like this, “God, if my husband lies or cheats on me, I want to know it now. I am ready to face the pain.” I said this in conviction as I looked outside my bedroom window. Looking upwards to the dark, non-starry night, I suddenly remember the saying, “Be careful of what you wished for.” I felt chills running down my spine. I was scared.

That night, my husband told me he had to work overtime. As I lay in bed resting, I felt something was not right. I got up and was anxious. I do not know what to do. I prayed in silence asking the Lord to help me do something to ease this weary heart. As I calmed myself and was in a momentarily peace, my hand instinctively reached out for a pen in my dresser. I pulled my drawer and got my journal notebook. Without hesitation, I began to write. As I begin to think about what to write, I remembered my love for writing. It’s something I haven’t done in more than a decade!

The closest person to me now is my personal assistant. Literally speaking, she is physically close to me as the job requires. She was my confidante too and was with me most of the time during the day. One night while I was sleeping with my husband, I heard an incoming text message from her from my husband’s cellphone. She was living with us and was just in the other room. I kicked her out. This happened a few nights ago and it suddenly crossed my mind.

I felt a jolt in my body as the sound of silence was broken. I heard the doorbell rang. It was my husband. I knew the worse is yet to come. I heard footsteps in the kitchen at 5’oclock in the morning. My husband woke up early to go to their company’s office in Manila. It’s the morning of my birthday so I decided to go to my shop and have fun in the mall.  I went to the mall to open my shop. My salesladies greeted me but something was wrong. I felt a tensed atmosphere. I was in my usual element asking them, “How was your night?” I was asking this because I did not close the shop the night before. They took turns in telling a story until I sensed it was inaccurate.

Apparently, they all went to a club, all 4 or 5 of them, including my former personal assistant and my husband. There were more to the story and what happened that night or other nights besides that I may never know. All I know I was betrayed. My girls who I treated like sisters for years who lived with me – they were my family and my husband for 8 years – I was weak in the knees. It was my birthday.

As the day was about to end, it did not rain at all. For the first time in 35 years of my birthday it didn’t rain! What rained that night were endless tears of deep sadness and feelings of abandonment. I couldn’t tell anyone. My best friend was gone…my family, am so embarrassed to tell them. 

As I went home alone in my apartment, I looked at the skies above. It was a clear, crystal night. It was a beautiful, picturesque night with the moon and stars hovering in heaven. The stars were so many shining ever so brightly. Those numerous stars twinkling and shining seems to be telling me something. That those are the same stars that will be with you in your future birthdays. All of these stars will be shining brightly for you. I felt something good amidst the pain and chaos. Deep inside, I knew with some strength still tucked in me, my better days will come.…Where will I go from here???

Photo courtesy: 16quotes

Shared by Miss Vie

By the way I'm Vie, I fell inlove with red when I was in 3rd year highschool, okay kami going strongnaman ang relasyon namin kahit di kami masyadong nagkikita kasi nag-aaral ako that time and I'm proud to say one of the cream of the crops ng batch namin, nasa honor list at lumalahok sa mga patimpalak sa pagandahan.  Naks!  Kaya pinagbubuti ko ang pagaaral ko at ginawa ko si Red na inspirasyon ko at ganon din siya kasi he is working at his early age kahit pa may kaya ang pamilya niya, JS prom namin noon senior year na ako that time ng magkita ulit kami since magkalayo kami kaya excited kami magbonding o di kaya magkwentuhan, but in reverse iba ang nangyari, naging mapusok kami at nangyari ang di dapat mangyari. April na noon malapit na ang graduation when I found out na buntis ako, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko dahil napakabata ko pa para sa ganong obligasyon na maging ina, nanamlay ako at napansin yun ng bestfriend ko but I didn't say anything.  I kept it to myself muna at nag-isip ako, I informed Red about it,  hindi siya nagreply at di ko din siya makontak, inisip ko na lang baka kailangan niya muna ang magisip, hinayaan ko muna siya magdesisyon, tumapak ako sa entablado hawak ang diploma ko ngunit may laman ang tiyan ko, hindi ko sinabi sa kahit kanino, kami lang ni Red ang nakakaalam, umuwi si Red ng di man lang niya sinasabi sa akin, tinext ko siya at tinanong ko ang desisyon niya, yun na yata ang pinakamasakit na narinig kong salita "Hindi pa ako handa maging ama at magkalayo tayo, malay ko ba kung akin ba talaga yan kaya mabuti na lang na burahin natin sa mundo yan."