Shared by Miss MG

On the night of August 17, 2008, around 9 pm, I was about to say my night prayers, when I suddenly felt uneasy. I was anxious about something I cannot explain. While praying I began to instantly utter something like this, “God, if my husband lies or cheats on me, I want to know it now. I am ready to face the pain.” I said this in conviction as I looked outside my bedroom window. Looking upwards to the dark, non-starry night, I suddenly remember the saying, “Be careful of what you wished for.” I felt chills running down my spine. I was scared.

That night, my husband told me he had to work overtime. As I lay in bed resting, I felt something was not right. I got up and was anxious. I do not know what to do. I prayed in silence asking the Lord to help me do something to ease this weary heart. As I calmed myself and was in a momentarily peace, my hand instinctively reached out for a pen in my dresser. I pulled my drawer and got my journal notebook. Without hesitation, I began to write. As I begin to think about what to write, I remembered my love for writing. It’s something I haven’t done in more than a decade!

The closest person to me now is my personal assistant. Literally speaking, she is physically close to me as the job requires. She was my confidante too and was with me most of the time during the day. One night while I was sleeping with my husband, I heard an incoming text message from her from my husband’s cellphone. She was living with us and was just in the other room. I kicked her out. This happened a few nights ago and it suddenly crossed my mind.

I felt a jolt in my body as the sound of silence was broken. I heard the doorbell rang. It was my husband. I knew the worse is yet to come. I heard footsteps in the kitchen at 5’oclock in the morning. My husband woke up early to go to their company’s office in Manila. It’s the morning of my birthday so I decided to go to my shop and have fun in the mall.  I went to the mall to open my shop. My salesladies greeted me but something was wrong. I felt a tensed atmosphere. I was in my usual element asking them, “How was your night?” I was asking this because I did not close the shop the night before. They took turns in telling a story until I sensed it was inaccurate.

Apparently, they all went to a club, all 4 or 5 of them, including my former personal assistant and my husband. There were more to the story and what happened that night or other nights besides that I may never know. All I know I was betrayed. My girls who I treated like sisters for years who lived with me – they were my family and my husband for 8 years – I was weak in the knees. It was my birthday.

As the day was about to end, it did not rain at all. For the first time in 35 years of my birthday it didn’t rain! What rained that night were endless tears of deep sadness and feelings of abandonment. I couldn’t tell anyone. My best friend was gone…my family, am so embarrassed to tell them. 

As I went home alone in my apartment, I looked at the skies above. It was a clear, crystal night. It was a beautiful, picturesque night with the moon and stars hovering in heaven. The stars were so many shining ever so brightly. Those numerous stars twinkling and shining seems to be telling me something. That those are the same stars that will be with you in your future birthdays. All of these stars will be shining brightly for you. I felt something good amidst the pain and chaos. Deep inside, I knew with some strength still tucked in me, my better days will come.…Where will I go from here???

Photo courtesy: 16quotes